Monday, November 23, 2009

Austin Rumsey 15

Sea Lampreys
By Austin Rumsey

Sea Lampreys, there freaky to some but to others it’s a

murderer. And it lives in the Great Lakes and mainly feeds on one

thing, fish. Yes, these monsters are killing of the fish of the Great

Lakes. They have teamed up with one other invasive species.

Alewives, they are a type of fish that is too small for Lamprey to eat.

Together they have wiped out three kinds of Cisco. The Lamprey

clears out the fish and the Alewives eat their food. When the

Lamprey feeds it doesn’t eat the fish, it sucks the blood and body

fluids with its razor sharp teeth. The Lamprey wasn’t brought here

unintentionally it hooked on to the boats that were passing through

the Atlantic Ocean. And that concludes my report on the Lamprey.

Lampreys live in water. They have big eyes. They have seven gills.

They eat fish. They prey on sports fish. They are very carnivorous.

They are very bad. And that concludes my report on the



  1. Yo, pretty good paper! It is a little bit short, and you did start a ton of paragraphs with they, so that might want to be changed. Still, really good paper! Also, the first sentance in the intro didn't make that much sense to me. Could you elaborate?
    --Epitome of Amazingness (Tristan Fuller)

  2. Your paper had a lot of good word choice that made the Lamprey Eel sound dangerous and very harmful to the environment.Your paper also had good spelling and punctuations and you had good sentence structure.I think you could improve on the length of your paper. I also think you should encorparate similies and metapors in your paper to keep your reader interested. One last thing that I think you should do is to make sure you have an introduction five paragraphs and a conclusion. posted by:Nkatha

  3. Austin,
    All your word choice made the invasive species sound Creepy! You had very good sentance structure. But you have to make sure you have all 5 paragraphs and ALL the requirements. Make sure you have 2 pages long.
    -Lindsey :)

  4. You made the Lamprey look bad! In this case, that's good. You need to make it considerably LONGER!!!!!!!! Needs to also be much more descriptive. Make sure that you include more about it!

  5. Austin,
    So far; it’s looking pretty good. You may want to read through the requirements page just to make sure you are completely covering everything. You were off to a good start with your introduction, although make sure to include more about what invasive species are in general. It’s also to short; try to include more about it to make your reader more engaged into what you are saying. You should have at least five body paragraphs, and then finish your conclusion a little more, and maybe don’t start every sentence with ‘they’. Perhaps you could use a little more sentence structure. However, I liked your word choice, organization so far, and interesting information. It looks like you’re off to a good start :)


  6. Austin,
    There is not much of an intro or conclusion, and i don't think that was long enough.
    But there was excellent word choice and enthusiasm in it.
    Good job.

  7. Austin, great paper, most definatly make it longer, I din't think that it was two pages. Maybe fix the double negative sentance "wasn't brough here unintentionally." And maybe fix the last two sectences in the last two paragraphs. Some good things were the great word choice and correct grammer, for the most part, and the great facts.
    From, Beau